Rough week. For starters, on Tuesday there was a scary earthquake in my hometown, Mexico City where most of my friends and family live. My mom tried to call soon after but I was trying to catch some zzz since life with a newborn is tiring. When she finally got ahold of me she showed me through a video call the damage that was done to the apartment where I grew up. How so many things fell, broke, and heavy furniture moved.
I’ve lived through many earthquakes in that apartment, but in my whole life I never saw so much damage. I can’t imagine what it actually felt like because even mild earthquakes feel pretty strong in that 11th floor. Gradually I found out my family and friends were all ok but there was a lot of damage in the city which is still in recovery.
Also, this week I officially concluded I’ve been suffering from postpartum depression. It’s not severe. In fact, they have a term for what is very common a week or two postpartum: the baby blues – “an emotional state of tearfulness, unhappiness, worry, self-doubt, and fatigue.” But it’s been a month now, and I’m still feeling bad most days.
Postpartum depression can be quite serious with symptoms like hopelessness, constant crying, feeling like life isn’t worth it, losing interest in things you enjoy, guilt, worthlessness.. and more. I’m not there, fortunately, but most days I do feel down, depressed, frustrated, and on the verge of crying. And it’s been a month already. I remember specifically having a good day on Thursday. I felt good and my mood was good, it was like a breath of fresh air.
I attribute it to lack of sleep and interrupted sleep. Even when I get a good 5-6 or hours total at night, I feel tired during the day because they were interrupted by diaper changes, feedings, and gas pains. Not mine, the baby’s. And I try to get naps during the day but she sleeps less during the day, and I have more to do, also.
Lack of sleep and the fact that it’s been a month and I have not gone anywhere except to the pediatrician, and the chiropractor once is affecting my mental wellbeing. I’m a homebody, but it does take a toll eventually. And to add to the whole thing, it’s almost October and it is still 90 degrees and humid out, so I can’t even just take 5 min to go outside and get an actual breath of fresh air and enjoy it.
And then, my husband works from 8 – 5. Which is also kinda hard for me. To deal with the baby day and night. He does try to help as much as he can in the evening with the baby and with chores, and on the weekend. And he tries to cheer me up with flowers and dessert. I just hate that he has to come home to a grumpy, irritable, and crying wife.
Anyway, I know this stage is temporary and should get better. And with all that said, here are a few small pleasures I managed to have this week:
1. Monday football with my baby girl.
My husband doesn’t have much of an interest in football, but I grew up in a household that did. So I usually watch the games by myself. This year I got a viewing partner, our baby girl and I watched our first game together this week.
2. Round two of flowers and dessert
Last Wednesday I was having a rough day and hubby stopped at the store after work and again brought me flowers, a few different desserts, and soup so I can eat during the day.
3. Being inspired by Mexico
Since the earthquake, it has truly been inspiring to see how the Mexican people got together to help each other. Masses of people looking for ways to help, working many hours in precarious conditions, and supplies and services like physical and emotional therapy being constantly donated across the city. It makes me sad I’m not there to help, and it makes me very proud to be Mexican.
4. A good day
I actually wrote the intro of this post yesterday. And I’m happy to say that today was a good day. I caught up with some sleep and I felt good. I even went out! My first “big” outing since her birth a month ago. Josh stayed home with the baby and I decided to go out shopping to Trader Joe’s. I was also going to stop by Starbucks for a coffee and I literally forgot. I guess the lack of sleep is affecting me in various ways. But as I write this at 6 pm I’m feeling quite tired and have a headache. I hope I have another decent night of sleep so that I can feel good tomorrow as well.
Have a great week!
Weekly Small Pleasures Blog Event
Share your happiness!
I find that the small things that make us happy every day are easily forgotten.
This blog event is simply about remembering and sharing those small things that made you happy during the week; things that made you smile, made you laugh, made you do a happy dance, made your heart smile…
You can share in any format you like. For people to find your post, tag your post “Weekly Small Pleasures” and link to my most recent post for a pingback! You can also just share in the comments.